I’m about to get deep into the world of selfies. I don’t even take selfies let alone use the word. The word conjures up images of Snooki, duck lips and teenage girls. I have nothing in common with any of them and yet I am about to embark on an adventure of selfies.
It all started yesterday when I ran across a 30 day self portrait challenge on instagram. Initially, I ignored it as this is not something I would normally partake in and quite frankly is really out of my comfort zone. Nice idea. Just not for someone like me. Someone like me being the girl that prefers to stay behind the scenes and take the pictures not actually ever be in the pictures. In fact, I am pretty sure that there are only 2 pictures of my son and me together since his birth. That’s the kind of girl I am.
A few hours passed and a picture of my girlfriend at Spearmint Baby popped up in my feed. She was participating in the 30 day challenge. She’s gorgeous so why wouldn’t she? This challenge is for girls like her, right?
Shari suggested that I participate in this 30 day challenge of selfie love. I wasn’t sold though. I mean why would I suddenly want to start taking self portraits and plastering them all over Instagram? That just sounds uncomfortable and out of my element.
The words uncomfortable and out of my element weighed heavy on me. See, I’ve been feeling uncomfortable and out of my element since the birth of my son, since quitting my job, since deciding to stay home for the next 5 years and become his primary caretaker. He is my world and I am his. This is some serious business I have going on. Leaving the comfort of my job to stay home and take on the full time role of a boss lady was the biggest risk I have ever taken. It is taking some time to get used to. It is taking some time to carve out my niche in the world again and redefine who I am and what I do. It has been nothing short of challenging, uncomfortable and completely out of my element at times.
Then, I thought about the article that I read on Huffington Post shortly before my son was born. The article about mom staying in the picture. Initially when I read it, I promised myself that I would not be that mom to hide from the camera. Instead, I would be that mom that was present in her children’s lives. Was fully present. No make up. Bad hair day (everyday). Sloppy outfit. Old sneakers. Whatever…..my kids won’t see any of that. My kids will only see me for who I am not what I am wearing, not what my hair looks like and certainly not whether I’ve recently had my brows threaded.
I failed though. I wasn’t that mom. Nope. I was still the girl hiding behind the camera. I had just morphed into that mom hiding behind the camera. I didn’t want to be that mom. I don’t want to be that mom.
I decided that I need to change. I need to push the envelope some more. I need to break through boundaries. I need to engage in a 30 day challenge of self portraits. Why? So, I can become comfortable in front of the lens. So, I can become that mom. I can be the mom in pictures. I can be present in my children’s lives without worrying about my hair or my eyebrows or the circles under my eyes. Okay, so maybe I will actually worry about the circles and the brows and all that good stuff. Instead of worrying about it though maybe it is time to actually do something about it….take better care of myself so that I can take better care of my babypants. That’s what this is all about. Being present. Being there. Being that mom.
Who is up for the 30 day challenge? You can follow me on instagram to check out my progress. I have posted my first two self portraits already. What do you think?