I haven’t been here in a while. Oddly enough, I haven’t missed it. I have been considering shutting down the blog and retreating back into the solitude of my life. I live a pretty simple and quiet existence. Nothing fancy. I like it this way.
Blogging is not quiet. Blogging is busy and active. The hive is always buzzing. There are blogs to follow, blogs to read, bloggers to connect with and network with. There is a blogging community to immerse yourself in. It can feel like quicksand. You have to work really hard to stay on top of things. To be completely honest, I don’t want to work that hard right now. Working that hard and spending that much energy on something other than my family just feels wasteful.
I also have had to examine who I blog for. I felt inhibited. I found myself censoring what I wrote not wanting to offend anyone. Then I found myself not even wanting to blog because I knew I would be writing about the same issues I have been struggling with as a first time mom. Somehow being a first time mom suddenly felt like a disadvantage, almost as if what I was writing was pissing people off. So while I was quietly struggling with issues that I could have blogged and helped others or gotten much needed advice and support, I didn’t. I didn’t feel like enduring judgment again. So, I did not blog. I stayed quiet.
Then, I realized that I blog for myself not for others. If you come here and you read it and you like it, fantastic. If you don’t, that’s on you. There is a back button, an X at the top of your browser and a myriad of other ways to stop reading. My blogging is voluntary. So is your readership.
So, I will continue living my simple life and I will continue to blog about the complications, chaos and intricacies of this simple life. You are welcome to join me and read along. You are also welcome to quietly exit the stage at this time.