Recently I have found myself consumed with my phone. I have become that person. The phone constantly in the palm of my hand with my gaze downward distracted by whatever was on my screen. Most of the time it was Facebook. I found myself scrolling through my facebook feed in the morning while I poured coffee or made breakfast, in the middle of the night while I nursed my son, while the shower warmed up, waiting at a red light, in line at the supermarket or the bank, before the lights went out at night and more recently while I ate dinner.
Facebook was permeating every nook and cranny of my life. I was so busy reading status updates, scrolling through pictures and links to articles that I was missing moments in my own life. I didn’t even realize it was happening. I was invested more in what others were doing than what was happening around me. It became evident when my husband would ask me repeatedly if I saw my son do this or that in reference to some new milestone or newly learned behavior. The answer was inevitably almost always a resounding No. I was ashamed and embarrassed that someone else’s dinner plans, workouts, work drama, vacations, etc. was trumping my own life.
There were multiple ways to remedy this but I ultimately decided to deactivate my facebook account. Like so much else in life, I don’t miss what I don’t have. I don’t know how long this will last. Maybe a month. Maybe two. Maybe a year. Perhaps a lifetime. I’m not really sure and I’m okay with that.
In just the short time that I have been without the presence of facebook in my life, I have had the pleasure of reading books, taking walks in the snow, making blueberry pancakes from scratch and witnessing the miracle that is my family. The family that has been here this whole time while I was too busy watching someone else’s online.